


The Best Worst Infiltrators

by spaceyquill



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Crack, F/M, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-04 22:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16798492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceyquill/pseuds/spaceyquill
Summary: Rose successfully makes it aboard the Supremacy only to run into Matt the Radar Technician, who's looking into the crew's quality of life. Absolute miscommunication ensues, and never stops ensuing.





	The Best Worst Infiltrators

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wishonadarkstar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishonadarkstar/gifts).



> I had never even considered this pairing in my life. Of course I had to write it!

This was a bad plan. This was such a bad plan. Rose and Finn and DJ were aboard the Dreadnought _Supremacy,_ the largest ship Rose had seen in her life, and they had gotten separated. They all wore their stolen First Order uniforms, walking down one identical corridor after the next, and they had gotten. Separated.

So Rose kept walking. She’d run into them eventually, wouldn’t she? She couldn’t wander back the way she came looking lost, she had to move purposefully, like she knew where she was headed. The real First Order people she passed all knew where _they_ were headed. No one would suspect her if she was confident.

Who was she kidding, confidence felt so foreign here between the gray walls of identicalness. She was lost.

-:-

More than a couple corridors away, Kylo adjusted his glasses as he left the eighteenth out of fifty-three locker rooms on this level. His blond wig was on, his orange vest was buckled, and he was ready to interrogate Snoke’s loyal crew members on their quality of life in the First Order. After all, it had worked so well on Starkiller Base—no one had suspected a thing!

A pair of stormtroopers walked by and Kylo waved at them.

“Afternoon,” he called, but they kept walking. “Stupid troopers,” he muttered. He headed in the opposite direction, planning on stopping at the first cafeteria he found. A pair of short officers, probably fresh out of the academy, crossed his corridor.

“Hey, you guys going to the cafeteria, maybe?” Kylo asked. They barely paused.

“We’re in a battle with the resistance right now!” one scoffed.

“Yeah, I knew that.” Kylo carried on in his search. He would find someone to talk to. He would determine their quality of life.

-:-

Just keep looking forward, Rose told herself every time actual First Order workers neared her. Don’t make eye contact with anyone, don’t talk to anyone, just find Finn and DJ and finish the mission.

It was hard to keep her eyes forward when a man in a neon orange vest shuffled out of the corridor ahead of her to walk in the direction she was going. His gait was leisurely and Rose easily passed him by, determined as she was to get… somewhere.

“Hey!” he said. Rose couldn’t help it. She snuck a glance back at him.

What was the proper First Order etiquette? Was she supposed to salute, or play it cool?

The man didn’t seem to mind her silence, because suddenly he was keeping pace with her.

“Are you going to the cafeteria? I was looking to go with someone. Hi, I’m Matt. I’m a radar technician.”

Rose tried to smile, but then she didn’t know if people in the First Order smiled, so she stopped. “Sorry, I’m not going to the cafeteria.”

“Oh.” He sounded more than a little dejected. “Well, where are you going?”

“Uhh… the hyperspace tracker, actually,” she said, brightening. Of course, who better to ask than someone who worked here?

“Really? But that’s back that way,” Matt said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. Rose couldn’t keep feigning the confidence, she had to embrace the awkwardness and turn around and walk the other direction. She performed the bravest pivot she could.

“Well, thanks, Matt.”

-:-

Kylo watched her go, this strange officer with stranger hair. He couldn’t recall off the top of his head if that kind of hairstyle was permitted, but he kinda really wanted to know how she did that.

“Wait!” he said, running after her. “Are you new here?”

Her nod was only perceptible because her side hair jiggled. “Yeah, I came from… from Starkiller Base, actually.”

“Really? So did I,” Kylo said. “What section were you in?”

“The section that got blown up.”

Kylo was laughing before he even realized it, and clamped down on that. He had to play it cool and blend in with the no-nonsense officers and tightwad soldiers that made up the bulk of the First Order.

“I guess we worked in the same section, then.”

The girl flashed a grin, brief, but genuine. So maybe she was a some-nonsense officer.

“Do you like working here on the _Supremacy?”_ he asked.

Whatever sound she started to make ended with a “Yeah?” He watched her expectantly, waiting for her to rank her quality of life. Maybe she’d even compare it to her time on Starkiller. That would be a bonus.

“It’s big, for one. I get all my steps in a day, because I track that on my datapad.”

“I do that, too!” Kylo said.

“Plus it’s a ship. So we’re always… flying somewhere. Get to see the galaxy.”

-:-

This had to be the hardest test of Rose’s life, playing up the First Order to one of its loyalists. Strange to say it, but even though she’d only known him for five minutes, she had a bit of a soft spot for this Matt. She was kind of like him before getting involved in this galactic-crossing mission to save the resistance. Maybe that’s what Matt needed, to get out on a mission and do something worthwhile instead of… whatever it was he did.

“What do you think about Kylo Ren?” Matt asked. “Pretty cool lightsaber, huh?”

And the test just got harder.

Rose forced a smile. “Who doesn’t like Kylo Ren, am I right?” Could he tell she was making this up on the spot? Because normal people didn’t usually sound this hesitant. So she had to elaborate to not sound suspicious. “He’s got a nice mask. And yeah, the lightsaber—wow. I wonder where he got it, y’know?”

“He built it,” Matt said.

“Oh.” Shoot, that was probably common knowledge to everyone in the First Order. She’d only heard the horror stories passed down from the pilots who heard it from Poe Dameron, which left her with vague snippets about the man who tortured him.

“Can you believe this space battle is still going on?” Matt scoffed. “It’s been like, hours. You’d think we’d have caught up to them by now or something. Let’s just shoot them all down and get to correcting the galaxy, right?”

Was there a nice way to tell someone in the First Order to go away? Did the First Order do polite, or would that totally give her away?

One thought popped into her head then, a chilling thought. Maybe Matt already knew. He’d figured her out, from the way she wore the uniform, to her not knowing where she was going, to her answering all his strangely pointed questions wrong. She tensed as a pair of stormtroopers neared. Matt was going to bust her.

-:-

Kylo flung a hand out, straight in front of this little officer. Two stormtroopers passed, getting in the way of his directional point, and all he could mutter was, “Stupid troopers.”

“What?” she squeaked.

“Oh, just showing you the way to the hyperspace tracker,” he said. “It’s down this corridor.”

-:-

Rose breathed the biggest sigh of relief. She was so close! But looking down the hallway she needed, she saw Finn and DJ looking conspicuously like they had lost someone. Finn saw her first, and Rose, with the subtlest-not-so-subtle wave, motioned for him to keep going.

She turned to Matt to see he was squinting through his glasses at the other resistance infiltrators. “Matt! Um, before I go to work… where I work… why don’t you tell me more about… something?”

-:-

Kylo shrugged. “Like what?” The officer pushed him away from the side corridor and into the nearest corner.

“Like Kylo Ren for instance?”

This was his time to shine. “I mean, he’s only the coolest guy in the First Order. Everybody seems to think Hux can breathe in space like some Corellian god or whatever, but Kylo’s, like, twenty… hundred… thousand times better.”

“Wow,” the officer said, nodding along. She had her elbow propped against the wall but she wasn’t exactly leaning. “Sounds like you really look up to him. But y’know, I like to think that people I look up to, my heroes, aren’t that much different than me.”

Kylo’s stomach dropped. Their corner suddenly turned so quiet that he could hear the mouse droid three corridors away.

“What?” he croaked.

“Yeah, I was a lot like you at one time. There were people I looked up to. I thought I’d never even be on the same speaking level as them. But then I met them, and it’s like, wow, you’re not that different from me!” she beamed as she spoke, but Kylo found it harder to breathe. “Just think of Kylo Ren like any normal guy. I mean, if he was something like a radar technician, I’m sure you’d be able to accomplish just as much as him!”

Purrgil on a cracker— _she knew!_

-:-

All Rose had to do was keep talking, keep Matt distracted, and give the others time to finish the mission. But beyond this First Order loyalist not happening across a resistance plot, Rose thought Matt really needed this pep talk. The kid could use a self-esteem boost, after all. He hadn’t turned her over to the stormtroopers, it was quite possible her mind was blowing everything out of proportion.

“So, um,” Matt said, looking at anything except for her, “I should prolly… go. Steps to walk. Radars to technician. Y’know.” He sidestepped her and walked in the direction of the hyperspace relay corridor, and if he noticed Finn and DJ, her mind was absolutely right, they were all doomed!

Rose scurried in front of him, arms out to grab his attention because, kark, he was tall.

“Hey, maybe there’s some other direction you wanna go?”

Matt pointed down the corridor that she barred. “It’s faster to go through here.”

“Think about your steps! You’ll get more steps by going a different direction!” She grabbed him by his arm and yanked him down the main hallway, the exact direction they had come from. “I need to get my steps, too, so let’s walk together.”

-:-

Kylo had to get out of this situation fast. What First Order loyalist wouldn’t want a piece of him now that his identity was discovered? He should never have told people on Starkiller Base he had an eight pack—he was even more irresistible now.

“Uh, I’ve got my steps for today. I’ve been walking for the past nine hours,” he said.

-:-

“Wow, nine whole hours?” Rose said. But Matt still looked like he wanted to go down the corridor that he couldn’t go down. Ugh, there weren’t many options left to stop him in his tracks, but she had to try something. The resistance was counting on her.

-:-

Kylo could just think of the rumors spreading among the officers about “I spent time with Kylo Ren!” Nobody had seen through his disguise before! …Okay, one person on Starkiller Base had. Maybe two.

“What do you mean an unauthorized ship has landed?” a distorted voice said from down the hall. Captain Phasma, cape billowing, was marching in their direction, and nothing got past her. Kylo grabbed the tiny officer by her arms and pushed her toward the corridor where she worked. He would get her to her station where she couldn’t follow him anymore.

-:-

No, why wouldn’t Matt just go in any other direction than toward the hyperspace tracker? Rose had to utilize the biggest distraction, so she pulled Matt straight into a kiss, right in the middle of the corridor. 

If anyone in the First Order needed to get by in the direction of the tracker, nobody said anything and just squeezed past, like it was another day aboard the _Supremacy._

For as awkward as Matt came off, Rose had to admit he wasn’t the worst kisser. She guessed. She’d never actually kissed anyone before this. And here she was, face-to-face with a member of the First Order. On a First Order ship.

For the resistance.

-:-

Whatever had been going through Kylo’s mind immediately evaporated when this bold little officer kissed him. At least she was experienced. He guessed. He’d never actually—

“Kylo Ren to hangar bay 013!” came an announcement over public comms. Kylo pulled back, wide-eyed and glasses barely hanging onto the tip of his nose.

This all-nonsense officer had won this round.

He tried to scrape together some semblance of composure as he pushed his glasses back in place. “Uh… if you could not tell anyone about this, that’d be great.”

-:-

Rose watched Matt shuffle away in the direction she had come from, away from Finn and DJ.

“Don’t worry!” she called. “I won’t!”

Nobody in the resistance would ever. Know.

And she scurried off herself to lend her friends a hand.


End file.
